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April 27, 2005
Newborn Care Class
The final class out of our package was last night. Newborn care. It was taught by a woman named Hallie, a childbirth educator and doula, and she had her 3 month old son there as well. He was supposed to be the live model for putting on a diaper, but when that part of the class had rolled around, he'd fallen asleep in the sling. He was absolutely adorable though, though technically at the end of the 'newborn' range, because the class was going to be for the 0-3 months timeframe.
We went through the basics of what is normal in newborns, which includes things like their face and eyes being really puffy initially, the baby being cross-eyed, their skin going all whacky as a result of being exposed to air as opposed to the liquid they were in for 9 months, whacky enough to even have newborn acne thanks to the maternal hormones in their systems post-birth. Stuff that would freak you the hell out if you didn't know that it was normal, and stuff that often doesn't last more than a few hours (some of the skin upsets/rashes).
A run through of putting on a diaper, which included the advice to keep a washcloth handy to put on top of any son's penis once you open the diaper, because some little boys will pee as soon as fresh air hits it. As silly as this sounds, I've had it happen before with my cousin when babysitting once (way back when I was 14 or so). I have no idea if he regularly did it, and if he did I would really have appreciated warning from my aunt and uncle about it, but it was certainly a big surprise to see a nice big arc of pee go sailing by after I took that diaper off. Hilarious also, because it's just really funny to see this small baby looking like a decorative fountain... it took me a few seconds before it actually registered and I moved into action quickly putting the diaper over it again to catch it. So the washcloth is to keep it covered so that you don't trigger that particular response if they're prone to it. I can only imagine how many parents or babysitters are caught unaware by this particular thing.
Other things were covered like nail care, taking temperature, dressing your baby, cord care, fevers, crying, colic, how to pick and when to call the pediatrician, and various and sundry related things.
Part of the class we also watched a video about newborn cues. They explained the different stages a newborn will be in during the day... active sleep, quiet sleep, quiet alert, active alert and such, and how to pick up on the communication that comes from your newborn, primarily in the quiet alert stage. The quiet alert stage is the stage the baby will be in for an hour or two after being born, and as such a good time for bonding. It was interesting to see that they do and pick up on a lot more than you'd initially give them credit for.
Other advice given in the class included the information that unlike what many parenting books say, that if you follow their method to the letter, you will arrive "there", some mythical perfect point where everything is wonderful and goes like it should. As Hallie pointed out, it just doesn't happen. Once one thing is working right, something else will change and need adjusting or fixing, and trying to hold yourself up to some standard of perfect is frustrating and unrealistic. And that essentially it's about the journey, not the destination, because there really is no destination with parenting, it's an ongoing thing. It's something that seems fairly straightforward, but I think we all start off with this drive to be the perfect parent, a noble goal to be sure, but one that would make you very frustrated and unhappy if you can't live up to that perceived goal.
She also mentioned that regardless of what you do, someone will disagree with your methods, and will happily tell you so. That it's important to keep unsupportive people at a further distance. A lesson applicable to any part of your life I guess. And other tips just to make life in the first few sleep deprived weeks/months a little easier.
And something also that she felt we needed to hear... that the mothers need to back off sometimes, and let the partners figure stuff out on their own for a while, have their own bonding and problem solving time. Otherwise because you're always hovering around, or you've stepped in with a "let me do that" or "I can do that better/faster" so many times you end up turning into the only person who can soothe the baby the best/fastest or somesuch, which can lead to resentment, because now you're always stuck with this job as you've made yourself the only one 'qualified' to deal with the situation. And you'd probably get resentment from the partner, who feels they can't get anything in edgeways. The biggest impediment to fathers bonding with babies are the mothers. PreZ had already mentioned this to me though, as it's in the Sears & Sears The Baby Book that he's been reading out of every once in a while.
And finally the information that you should surround yourself with people supportive of your style and philosophies, and to go to support groups, whether for breastfeeding or colic or just new parents or whichever class, so that you don't feel like the only person going through whatever it is that you're going through.
A fun class, not strictly because of topic, but because of the dynamic of the teacher... very to the point, hands on and funny with real world advice thrown in.
Posted on 01:47 PM to: Pregnancy